How do you know that you are in an abusive relationship?  Here are a few bullet points for your consideration:

• CONTROLLING

Your partner is controlling.  They have to know your whereabouts at all times, they call/text frequently and expect you to always be available, they don’t like your family or friends, they don’t want you to have any “free” time, they expect you to carry out a schedule and stay on that schedule, you don ’t have keys to the house and/or car, etc.

• FINANCIAL BLACKMAIL

They control the finances and you do not know how the money is spent, you are not allowed to keep your own money, you have to account for every penny you spend, and/or you do not have your own credit and/or debit card.

• VERBAL ABUSE

You are yelled at, threatened, spoken to/about negatively, called negative names (name-calling), insulted, and/or belittled.

• SEXUAL ABUSE

You are forced to be intimate when you do not want to be, you are forced to complete acts with which you are uncomfortable, and/or you are forced to watch other perform sexual acts.

• PHYSICAL ABUSE

Being hit, slapped, kicked, punched, bit, spit upon, thrown against wall or other hard object, hemmed up against wall or down on a bed, locked in the house, closet, basement, attic, or any other small area.

• EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Being forced to stay thin, or overweight by: having to account for everything you have eaten or not eaten or being forced to weigh yourself under supervision on a regular basis, ignoring you as a punishment for your behavior, feeling threatened, having to “walk on eggshells”, etc.

• LYING

Your partner is frequently accusing you of lying.

• CHEATING

Your partner regularly accuses you of cheating.

• PUT-DOWNS

You are constantly being put down for your looks, your weight, your cooking, your parenting skills, your housekeeping ability, the laundry, your job, the money you make, your sanity, etc.